for pity's sake

I feel the need to write, but have no idea what to write about. I am so full of this emptiness created by Rick's death...it's unbearable. I find myself wailing without let up, wanting what I can not have. Rick. Just to touch. See into his eyes. Smell. Hold. Talk to. Hear. Who am I kidding? I want him back so badly, I could never have begun to understand this. I'm trying to get ready for the district convention, and I can't focus. I want my husband. O Jehovah help me, please, to endure the unendurable.

The last breath taken by someone you love. The most horrible thing. Not breath. Not life. Last. Breath. No. More. Life.