Until....

In a thousand hours or a thousand days or a thousand years, I vow to hold you, my husband, Rick, firmly within my cracked heart. I want to talk to you, to see your eyes look into mine, to see you smile and light up at my presence, the way you always have. I want to hold your hand, walk with you down a dusty country road, dangle my legs in a creek beside yours, smell you beside me, work beside you, feed and love and hold you forever. You sleep safely in Jehovah's arms until you are resurrectetd and we can go about these activities and others with joy and delight and without the fear of loss of any kind. I am yours. You are mine. Forever. Jehovah promised to satisfy my desire. And this desire, to be reunited with you, my husband, my mate, this is in harmony with his will. So...I breathe until I breathe not, I weep until I weep not, I laugh until I laugh not, and I wait for our first sunrise together again. O Jehovah, aid me now, in the depth of my sorrow and empty heart, to endure and to live a life of generosity. Help me end my selfish sorrows, until you see fit to restore to me what I have lost and need so dearly.

You, my husband, Rick, my beloved...may you be well pleased to know I loved you so well. And may you forgive any hurt I extended to you, as Jehovah has forgiven every last bit of any hurt you extended to yourself or anyone else. I love you, Rick, miss you madly....please come home.